Alexis "Lexi" Tsarevich

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Clan Toreador Antitribu
Sect Position None
Pack Position None
Status 1
Domain Virginia
Pack None
Path Nunnya Beeswax ••
Faction None
Faction Importance None
Player Dora Jay


Alexis "Lexi" St. Hubert

"“Freedom of speech does not protect you from the consequences of saying stupid shit."

Lexi [SNR May 2019]

Simple Facts

300px lexi [new haven november]
Name: Alexis St. Hubert
Nickname: Lexi, Lex, Lexyboo,
Home Diocese: Virginia. Because Liyu is bae.
Status: Initiated (Arch Bishop Alejandra Maricela Devareaux Reyna)
Pack: Pbbbbht
Contact: Lexi Phone
Height: 5'7
Weight/Build: Thin to Average Build. Stick-limbs, very little muscular structure
Hair Color: Dirty blonde on top, blonde under cut.
Eye Color: Blue
Apparent Age: 18-21

Physical Description

Lexi is something inbetween a grunge kid and a wannabe street gangster. She's lithe, to the point of being difficult to put your hands on which is how she likes it. Can't be strangled if you can't be caught! Her hair's almost always down, covering her eyes, or sometimes tucked behind her ear. Black and gold seem to be her colors. She wears jeans with excessive amounts of studs (because yay for easy to use stabby things) and is almost never seen not in half shirt covered with some stage of glitter, sparkle, or other gold nonsense. She also likes her chains. And her gloves. She wears the gloves because getting blood on her hands stains them and the stains don't come out without effort. Also, they look badass.
She tends to wear a blue crucifix, a blue and white keffiyeh on her hip (the St Hubert Special), and if she wears shoes, they tend to be black, light up or just plain ridiculous. She is never seen without a plush stuffed gator on her hip


funboxThe part of the genre where lexi goes in, the funbox!

Lexi gives no fucks what most people think of her. She's the type of person you want to punch until they stop talking or accuse of having Daddy issues as a means of trying to silence her sometimes constant snark and chatter. Some people claim it's a front and that, deep down, she's empathetic as fuck, quiet, cool, and calculating, but nobody's actually found one of those people to wrangle the truth out of them as to whether or not these claims are true. Anything out of Vassyl, Mathew, or literally anyone else's mouth doesn't count because they are the literal worst.

Lexi talks shit but she isn't afraid to get hit. She practices what she preaches and brags about her stints in the fun box as if they're combat medals of valor and honor. Everytime she steps to the plate, she expects someone to step back.

She's got a lot of spunk and enough practice in rap battles that she's probably kosher to start her own rap battle crew. Or a parody youtube channel, if you were to believe the reports of the Great Palla Grande of 2018 where Lady Zasha almost burned down Esbat over the performance. Lexi likes to spin that as her almost bringing the house down.

She has been known to be genuinely empathetic and protective, especially of 'ducklings' or baby Canites not quite initiated yet. She's also been known to behave and stop trashing people if they ask the right and proper way. Something something Lexi can be taught? Lexi can learn? Lexi can grow? Well, if so... We're primarily going to have to blame Mathew St. Hubert for that nonsense.

Lexi is dynamic, chaotic, and a handful, but her dedication to her greater purpose can't be shook.

The Deets

lexi [Madison June 2017]

History of Before

Lexi's never shared it before, but she does admit she's a millennial and hasn't been embraced all that long.
She enjoys, excessively, making pop culture references that make this almost painfully apparent.
Her dialect indicates she's probably from somewhere in the Midwest, but given that most people in the US can't accurately define the midwest, that could mean she's anywhere not on the coasts.
Lexi is unashamedly Midwest Trash.

History of After


Picked up somewhere around the New Haven / New York area.
Dirty Anarch Convert Scum.
Managed to impress Alejandra enough that she got Initiated
At her core, Lexi is nomadic and can't stay in one place for too long without going bat shit insane.


Spent most of 2017 wandering all around the US that matters, meaning she's stayed of Nebraska, because nothing but demonic entities live in the hell that exists past Nebraska.
Spent the bulk of that time in the Norfolk, Dubuque, New Haven and a little bit of time in Madison, Gary, and Indianapolis.
Started prospecting into Eyes in Tempest in April of 2017
Started becoming a slightly more known face in Winter 2017


Presence on the National List becomes more recognizable. Namely because of the gifs. Because it's kinda hard to miss them.
Pack restructures itself from 'Eyes in Tempest' to 'Straight Outta Enoch'
EC happens and we up paying Contrition to Prisci Medici for being an insolent little shit. Minor amount of regret. Got a cool ring!
Formally leaves the Loyalists after Sesame Street but still considers herself a Loyalist at heart.
The UC starts dragging her places because omfg can they just not.
Loyalist ideologist at heart
"Yes you should totally go have a sit down with Melek idiot nomad Gangrel who's shitting all over the spiritually of the Sword. IT'LL GO GREAT. PROMISE. PINKY SWEAR."
Goes back to wandering, spending more time in the Midwest tormenting ninjas, spreading truth about the Pirate propaganda, and calling out fake news. Duh.
Dubuque is ours again, fuck your Daeva bullshit
Palla Grande in Virginia + Hamilton Passion Play = Lady Zasha almost murders us. #NoRegrets
"It's always infernalist murder season!"


Split with her pack Straight Outta Enoch in early 2019
Archbishop Liyu Naya called dibs on Lexi during that Bonding Ritae thingie.
Rumors state she may have licked Lexi to claim her.
Something something 'You're a St Hubert Now Bitch!" and a new lease on unlife
Got voluntold to be security for EC due to the last name
Owed more Contrition to Prisci Medici. 2 for 2. Completely done with this shit
Exploding phones and glitter bombs at EC.
No, seriously, that happened. So much fucking glitter.
Also Twittergate.
LOYALIST TAKE OVER OF EVERYTHING. Especially Eric Draven's wardrobe choices
Converts are people. Fuck off with your bullshit.
U WOT M8 @pretty much every fucking Obertus we've met so far.
Further increased credentials by winning two internet fights in a row
Travelling more like woah, including California. Apparently being a St. Hubert means you have to travel until you die?
Obtained a tank and a battle bus for the diocese of Virginia

Pack: Resurrection in Ash

Lexi [EC 2018]

Lexi's Burn Book

Top Tier Canite-types

"You deserve the happiness you've found. Anyone who disagrees can catch these hands."
"You're one of the best of us Babs. Don't go getting yourself killed"
"I've never been claimed before, not like how you claimed me. You are best Sabbat Mom. Pls no hit with stick or be disappointed noodle."
"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. - 1 Timothy 4:12 "
"Two years ago, I was about ready to sell your soul for a corn chip. Now? Not the case. Well played."
"We butt heads a lot.... but you're one of the most powerful women I've ever had the pleasure to know and you maintain your power while looking like a fucking lady. Maybe set people on fire a little less? k?"

People I Respect

"Our catty bitches table is always my favorite table to be at. You're not a bad voice of reason."
"I really do think you need to find ways to deal with your anger that don't involve SETTING PEOPLE OR BUILDINGS ON FIRE or hitting people with lightning, but beyond that, no serious complaints."
"Being the voice of reason sucks. You do it well. I still recommend stabbing people who don't listen to you. Works quicker than talking it out."
"You are legit 'no longer my ductus' but within reason, I'll still listen to you. xoxoxo"
"I really hope you for real end up being my Ductus. You're a good Canite and your willingness to grow is inspiring."
"You're the only one who can make abyssal pants look that good"
"We are the best worst Buddy Cop movie the Sabbat should've never allowed to be made."

People I like

lexi [gary sabbat, august 2018]
"You're a manwhore, so technically I should drop you a category on principle, but your abs are so defined i could perform ritae with them and I can't say I don't respect that."
"You're what happens when Gangrel and Lasombra are allowed to co-reproduce. Not sure yet if bad or not."
"You are the only Pirate I actually like."
"The best fucking Arch Bishop in the entire god damn Sword of Caine."
"You have an appreciation for popcorn. This makes us Popcorn based friends."
lexi [crusade of ashes summer 2018]
"You have big shoes to fill. Don't let him down."
"I am still really hopeful that as the nights go by, you're going to continue to find glitter....everywhere."
"You are the Grand Poobah, you are He Who Corrects the Loyalists."
"Not listening to Mama Nos is how you disappear via mysterious circumstances."
"I'm going to find a way to turn your Abyss Bird...Creature Things into Kentucky Fried Abyssal Chicken and I'm going to eat them in front of you. Beyond that, we coo."

People I tolerate

"I wish I could figure out wtf you want in unlife."
"You have the potential to be someone amazing or someone I sell for a corn chip. the choice is yours."
"Murder Hobo Senpai, please never notice me."
"Dance little birdy dance. The whole world smiles with you."
"You should trust your bullshit meter more and you should snark more. Then you might move from 'tolerated' to 'liked'
"You have reached tolerated stage. Slip back into your Tumbler ways and you'll be downgraded."
"I mean, you're a Tzimtzim who doesn't turn people into cakes. That immediately makes you a +1 in my book. But you dress like a bad vampire movie so that's a -1."
  • The Soviet Assamite Girl from New Haven
"Славься, Отечество наше свободное, Дружбы народов надёжный оплот! Партия Ленина - сила народная Нас к торжеству коммунизма ведёт!

People I would throw under a bus

lexi [new haven november]
"You are the only Moderate I wouldn't trade for a single corn chip or a box of thin mints."
"Making you annoyed is the highlight of my life."
  • Emissary Booplesnoot Anna
"Sometimes you're amazing and sometimes I want to throw you into the face of the sun. There's no middle ground."
  • Pretty much everyone else on the face of the planet not listed otherwise on this burn book
"If you're a good Canite, you'll dodge the bus!"

People I would sell for a box of thin mints

this is literally you: Foghornlexi.gif
When it's not, I'll maybe start to respect your bitch ass.
  • Judge Inquisitor Guy
I'm not your friend buddy, you're not my buddy Guy!
You ruined her forever. I'm glad you're obsolete now. We don't fucking need you.
Rubber Ducky, you're the one. You make purging Heresy so much fun. Rubber Ducky I'm awfully fond of you.
  • Most of the other Ashfords
"Really don't cost that much to change your name to something less terrible."

People I would trade for a single corn chip

"Legitimately, all you need to do is stop thinking you have to be the prettiest pony in the stable and we wouldn't have problems. Let someone else be pretty."
"lol u mad bro. u real fuckin' mad."
him: "but really, i'm a good lasombra and i'm not a hunter anymore. pay no attention to my true faith and holier than thou bullshit attitude."
me: Lolidc.gif
"Despite the fact your diocese woke up and removed you as literally the worst bishop in the history of the sword, it seems like you still don't understand that nobody fucking cares about the words that come out of your mouth."
  • Every single Moderate not otherwise listed
"Irrelevant faction is irrelevant."



My Ohana

"I really love that I can just look at you and say 'can we go home now?' and you're like 'yeah, we can go home now'. Please remember you matter and that you're not alone."

Big Brother
Your stuffed animals are lit AF, don't let Dad YEET them into the sun.

In Memoriam

“Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place.” ― Sarah Dessen



Softly and tenderly Father is calling
Calling for you and for me;
Patiently Father is waiting and watching—
Watching for you and for me!

Come home! come home!
Ye who are weary, come home!
Earnestly, tenderly, Father is calling,
Calling, O sinner, come home!

Why should we tarry when Father is pleading—
Pleading for you and for me?
Why should we linger and heed not His mercies—
Mercies for you and for me?

Come home! come home!
Ye who are weary, come home!
Earnestly, tenderly, Father is calling,
Calling, O sinner, come home!

Time is now fleeting, the moments are passing—
Passing from you and from me;
Shadows are gathering, death-beds are coming—
Coming for you and for me!

Come home! come home!
Ye who are weary, come home!
Earnestly, tenderly, Father is calling,
Calling, O sinner, come home!

Oh, for the wonderful love He has promised—
Promised for you and for me!
Though we have sinned, He has mercy and pardon—
Pardon for you and for me!

Come home! come home!
Ye who are weary, come home!
Earnestly, tenderly, Father is calling,
Calling, O sinner, come home!

Dearly Departed

"Those precious to me will never forget your loss."
"I'm going to do whatever I can to make it so we never have to go to Sesame Street ever again."

Lexi's Instagram Feed

lexi [madison june 2017] lexi [ec 2018 night 2] lexi [dark sermons, july, summer 2018] lexi [gary sabbat, july 2018]

lexi [gary sabbat, august 2018] lexi [gary sabbat, august 2018] lexi [palla grande, october 2018]lexi [festivo 2019]
lexi [random 2019] lexi [SNR May 2019] lexi [SNR July 2019] lexi [SNR July 2019]
lexi [SNR July 2019] lexi [Caine's Chosen August 2019] lexi [Caine's Chosen August 2019] lexi [Caine's Chosen August 2019]
lexi [Caine's Chosen Palla Grande 2019] lexi [Caine's Chosen Palla Grande 2019]

lexi [ec 2019]

Extra Nonsense

Gifs that Describe Lexi



lexi [madison june 2017]
  • "Fuck you, I do what I want" character trope
  • "I spend all day on the internet."
  • "I googled this six minutes before I developed a ridiculously strong opinion on this."
  • "Do I look like I give a fuck about your opinion?"
  • "I will turn this into a meme!"
  • "I am caffinated and this is the internet. Prepare to be shitposted!"
  • The following Facebook Tag Groups
  • "Marie Kondo asks; does this man spark joy? No? Well, into the pit he goes."
  • "Fetch me a crowbar somebody just lost their kneecap privileges"
  • "There’s gotta be an essential oil to help you go fuck yourself"
  • "What in the legging wearing I don't vaccinate white girl shenanigans is this"
  • "I could eat alphabet soup and shit a better argument than that."
  • "The price I have to pay for knowing how to read is very high"
  • "ask your doctor if shutting the fuck up is right for you"
  • "thanks, generic blonde conservative white lady #2567, your opinion is noted"
  • "quick question what the fuck"
  • I have a follow up question which is also "What the fuck?"
  • "I have a third question, which is "what the fuck?" but in a different tone"
  • "I have a 4th question. It's WHAT THE FUCK? But In all caps."
  • Imagine being such a “pick me” ass bitch
  • this is why thanos out here snappin
  • I chime in with haven’t you people ever heard of fucking his goddamn dad
  • eat bees, bitch
  • Sounds like a literal fedora with arms wrote this but okay
  • top cryptologists are working 24/7 to decipher what the fuck you just said
  • i'm not certain those are all words
  • You’re not from the streets, Karen, just on food stamps and you have anger issues.
  • imagine thinking “i have an idea!”, and the idea was this.
  • sounds like *someone* needs to be eaten by a bear
  • And then even the walls clapped
  • This post made me say "what" so many times Samuel L. Jackson just shot me
  • Boom. There went half my IQ
  • I will MAKE his penIS a penWAS
  • Yee (And I cannot stress this enough) Haw 🤠
  • what in the hillbilly yeehaw john deere tractor confederate flag is goin on
  • Well Well Well- if it isn’t the consequences of your own actions
  • There's A Lot To Unpack Here, But We Should Burn The Whole Suitcase Instead
  • Please help, I tried to read this and now I smell burnt toast.
  • are you a yoga teacher because wow what a stretch
  • I'm not reading this lucky charms essay.
  • OP, you fucking pine cone
  • That's a strange hill to die on, but at least you're dead
  • Go back to dumpster diving for ham scraps, you six-piece chicken McNobody
  • *unhinges butthole like a snake jaw*
  • Alexa, dim the lights. OP's about to get fucked.
  • Harsh winter is upon us, thank god I have this dumpsterfire to keep me warm
  • Hello Jesus, can you put your sandals on and come down? it's an emergency.
  • Honestly it might be easier to just YEET myself into the sun at this point
  • Theres a hot spring in Yellowstone that dissolves people.
  • i'm white, but not 'whatever the fuck THAT was' white.
  • there it is. the dumbest fucking thing ive seen all day
  • OP, get back here and answer for your crimes
  • I appreciate this carefully-crafted bait, but I am far too busy to take it
  • wow, i've never thought about it like that before. and i never will.
  • What in the unseasoned name of Karen is this caucasity?
  • can i file for divorce on someone else’s behalf
  • Mr. Rogers is disappointed and says you're not welcome in his neighborhood.
  • I don’t know who raised you, but they should put you back and try again
  • Wow, what a cuntpickle
  • Okay Klu Klux Karen
  • Trash gets picked up tomorrow. Make sure you’re ready.
  • Thank god a white guy chimed in. I was worried we wouldn't hear from them.
  • you're about get dragged fam; a racist exposé
  • Karen, You’re the Raisins in the Potato Salad
  • You ever flex on anti-vaxxers by living?
  • come fuck me yourself, you coward
  • what in the basement dwelling microwaved taquito incel shit is this
  • sounds suspiciously like something a pigeon would say but ok
  • He said angrily, from his mother's basement
  • That sounds like something you would catch hands for, but what do I know.
  • if I was a peacock I would be rolling all of my ass eyes
  • The bar for men has never been lower, yet he just limboed under it.
  • Someone forgot to take out the trash, now it has legs and an opinion
  • you just ran face first into the point, and somehow missed it anyways
  • This is why Jesus never came back
  • i sense little dick energy from this one
  • why do Caucasians crave death in such excessive ways
  • I don't recall asking for word salad, but here it is
  • I made a cute scarf out of all the red flags this post gave me
  • freyja, fetch your cat chariot. this person demands to be blood eagled.
  • Any History that I don't like is propaganda.
  • "What the fuck?", I whisper as I absolutely keep my pants the fuck on.
  • Nazis getting punched (and other heartwarming stories)
  • Harry Potter and the audacity of this bitch
  • They finna drag you 👀
  • Kids on summer break on Fortnite
  • The Youtube Comment Section

PC Soundtracks

Lexi 2017
Lexi Early 2018
Lexi Late 2018
Lexi Early 2019


  • "Based on what I know of her, it seems someone found a way to turn the very concept of 'Hold My Beer...' into a cainite." -Tobias Greene
  • "Wait, Vic was right? Fuck!" - Alexis "Lexi" Tsarevich, Ecumenical Council 2018
  • "Who would win in a fight, ninjas or pirates?" "what if they were Ninja Pirates?" "THAT'S NOT A THING. THE NARUTO ONE PIECE CROSS OVER NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED."
  • " totally just gave the Salubri status for completing the Kiki challenge mid combat."
  • "Yes, Melek is covered in Glitter, no it's not my fault, YES I'M BEING SERIOUS."
  • "Please don't do that thing where you open your mouth and deep throat your foot."


  • Lexi has more derangements than most Malkavian Anti Tribus
  • Lexi is actually a Lasombra
  • Lexi is actually a Salubri Anti Tribu
  • Follow up rumor
  • Many Canites are curious to see which the two above possible sires wins custody of Lexi
  • Archbishop Liyu Naya adopted Lexi because Lexi is secretly a Weapon of Mass Destruction
  • Alt Reality is that she adopted Lexi because she wanted to torment her bishops.
  • Lexi has coined Bishop Renee Rexana as her Precious Cinnabun and will fight anyone who says otherwise.
  • Lexi has coined 'gifs' as an actual linguistic language.
  • The Diocese of Virginia is entirely run by women and is basically the Amazonian hotspot of the Sabbat world

lexi [palla grande 2018]
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